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.hack//G.U. Last Recode

Oh, hey another game post. Just to be fair, I haven't had the urge to write about games since my post on Nier: Automata.

Quick background, this game, all 3 volumes of it, was originally released in 2006-2007 on the PS2. I was on my 3rd year of college, struggling to make time for my escapismsssss. .hack//GU turned out to be one of my favorite games on the PS2.

Fast forward to November 2017, Bandai somehow decided this title needed a remake and a new volume, the 4th on the G.U. series. This came as a surprise considering I never felt that the ending in volume 3 was lacking in any way. I bought the game on the day it was released then played through all the volumes out of curiosity.

Instead of feeling nostalgia in volumes 1-3, it felt like I was playing an entirely new game. I guess 10 years is, in fact, a LONG time. I could still remember some of the scenes but I had already forgotten the important details of the story. Perhaps, I wasn't paying enough attention or maybe a lot of the details just flew over my head when I was a much younger player. The first 3 volumes were, as I vaguely remember, essentially the same. The dev team enhanced the graphics and toyed around with some of the game mechanics such as the battle speed. This isn't a technical review so moving on...

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  • Current Music: Weight of the World
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Brain Fart

The article "Why ‘Do What You Love’ Is Pernicious Advice" got me thinking.

I have a friend working in Tokyo who wishes he wasn't born Japanese. "Why couldn't I have been born a Filipino instead?"

I wouldn't trade my Filipino upbringing for anything but I would love to live in Tokyo. I spent a mere 6 days in Tokyo; quite insignificant for decent social science studies. I do know for a fact, as opposed to reading in theory, that the Japanese really do think and act as a collective.

"Being a first world country has its downside. The Japanese have forgotten how to enjoy life." This isn't verbatim. I merely wrote how I understood my friend's statement when we discussed this. Though that may be true, I replied, it's not because you made this choice as an individual. Well, bold remarks for an outsider but I explained this further. The real burden the Japanese experience isn't because of their personal decision to give their all and to work hard, it's rooted on the fact that it is what their society expects from them. The real burden is living up to expectations that are not yours. For the Japanese who have studied abroad or who ready Western literature, the gap between cultures is ever so wide.

That got me reflecting on my own identity. Sure, my studies and upbringing have been greatly influenced by Western ideals. We are taught to aim high, to make and reach goals, to find ways to always improve ourselves. Western ideals as self-centric. The goal is to improve or (at the very least) maintain our standards of living. The article above, on the other hand, says that in Japanese society, work is meaningful because it is done for the betterment of society; for others.

That sounds so "Christian", doesn't it? Man and woman for others. Although I do feel at times that my work has no meaning in the greater scheme of things (I'm a mere cog in a profit-centric machine), I can't say work in a Japanese society is better.

"Work and passion are seldom found in one place." I've read this idea so many times before but I still don't understand why work keeps us away from life.

If we play the logic game, "taking away work brings us more life" in Western society while "taking away work removes us from making contributions to society" in Japan? 
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The dreaded first quarter

I'm approaching a major milestone in life and I feel undeniably lost these past few weeks. Quarter life, you come to greet me too soon.

Funny, 'coz I've read quite a few articles about this ominous "quarter life crisis" and it seems this is not just some awkward phase that people conveniently called the "quarter life".  It's comforting to know that I'm not the only one going through this phase - quite a few friends my age are experiencing the same thing. Seeing that I'll be stuck in this phase for a while.. until I turn 26 (?) or until I figure out what my personal crisis is about, I might as well take the time to step back for a bit to see where I am. First order of business: where have I gone? Thus, I revive my ancient journal ha! I hope to find something from my past entries. For now, this is where I think I am:

-4 monhs away from the big two-five
-3.5 years has past since my last serious relationship
-6 terms into earning my MBA degree
-worked for almost 4 years in my current company
-progressing career; financially stable (but I enjoy being a parasite single too much to get my own place)
-awesome family life; I get all the independence I need
-awesome friends for literally all occasions: endless night parties, booze and the food, adventure travel, spontaneous road trips of happiness
-able and active body that can keep up with the 5 day workout schedule every week
-pursuing childhood passions: learning how to play the violin

I wonder what's missing.
  • Current Mood: contemplative contemplative
  • Current Music: Cape of Storms
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:((

It's been so long since I last cried. Watching a friend's last performance with the Surrelli Pops Orchestra was heartbreaking. I tried to keep it together knowing that it also meant that she'll also be spending her last week as my officemate this week. While listening to the music, I remembered the times we spent partying, window shopping, talking over coffee, chatting during work and doing other mischievous stuff...my heart just broke. Though we'll just be several toll gates away, I know things just won't be the same.

So much has happened these past 2 years and I'm only beginning to realize what I was able to experience and accomplish...

Katrina Macalintal, thanks for teaching me how to live in the moment and for teaching me how to enjoy these precious carefree seconds. Thanks for introducing me to music and the lifetime passion that comes with it. Thanks for helping me realize that there are no pause buttons in life, that every fleeting moment should be lived without regret. Thanks for making me realize that even ordinary people like the two of us can come up and actually live a big dream :)

Forward, always forward.
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To the man from the future

I don't understand why people settle for the complicated. I'm just thinking out loud. I'd rather not write anything more about this.

A lot of things have changed in the office. The people I've known for almost 2 years have gone, a few but certainly new faces have started to come in. In less than a month's time, our apprentice batch is going to "graduate" from the company. We would've served the 2 years we promised to the company in exchange for our technical trainings. I know of a few batchmates who are more than eager to leave. These people, I believe are the ones who are more disappointed because the company has not done it's part of actually giving them work that allowed them to practice what they have learned during the months of training. "Graduation day" will certainly leave me a bittersweet feeling but I'd prefer to look ahead from this point on.

My MBA classes will begin this Wednesday....at may assignment na pala prior to the 1st session!!!!!?? I don't even have the required book yet...dehm.
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Treading on this sunny path

For prolly the nth time, my brother told me that I should've shifted to psychology when I had the chance. First off, I never complained that I'm in IT. Secondly, I'm still alive so I believe it's never too late for me to do other things.

I'm turning 23 soon and I feel like I'm running out of time but not in an emotive sense though. These days, I'm looking forward to living every single day. Keeping an optimistic attitude is tiring but given this limited time of existence, I'd rather live each day as happily as I could possibly make it.

The Infinite Regress
Somehow, I can't imagine having gone through a heartbreak without Heidegger LOL! This sounds really nerdy I know but I could only imagine how other people handle a heartbreak without being aware about the infinite regress. The infinite regress is the seemingly endless questioning of the self to itself in an attempt to put a broken idea back together in this case, a failed relationship. I've been fortunate (or unfortunate) enough to have studied the marriage of eastern and western philosophy under Sir Anton and I've realized that there are things that can't be explained. My logical existence would've continued asking "why" in hopes of coming up with a concrete answer but the poet in me (which is moved by philosophy) moved to the conclusion that the whole experience is just "is". I thing this is more than just a resignation to the things I can't control. It's a humble acceptance that the whole thing is bigger than me, the other part in question and even the circumstance then.

I'm guess I spend too much time inside my own head but I love it here :)
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So this is how it feels like


When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me." ~Erma Bombeck

Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets. ~Arthur Miller

Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while. ~Author Unknown

He who has a why to live can bear almost any how. ~Friedrich Nietzsche

To live remains an art which everyone must learn, and which no one can teach. ~Havelock Ellis

Life is the game that must be played. ~Edwin Arlington Robinson

Life will always remain a gamble, with prizes sometimes for the imprudent, and blanks so often to the wise. ~Jerome K. Jerome

Life is not a final. It's daily pop quizzes. ~Author Unknown

We mourn the transitory things and fret under the yoke of the immutable ones. ~Paul Eldridge

Following straight lines shortens distances, and also life. ~Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin

Life may have no meaning. Or even worse, it may have a meaning of which I disapprove. ~Ashleigh Brilliant

The tragedy of life is not that man loses, but that he almost wins. ~Heywood Broun

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on. ~Robert Frost

You live and learn. At any rate, you live. ~Douglas Adams

If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, where X is work, Y is play, and Z is keep your mouth shut. ~Albert Einstein

The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with Nature. ~Joseph Campbell

Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love and to work and to play and to look up at the stars. ~Henry Van Dyke

To the student I would say, "Life is principally multiple choice, but at the end there's a tough essay question." ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com